February 01, 2006

A Primer For Visiting Detroit During the Super Bowl

Super Bowl Instructions
For all the visitors, from other than Michigan, coming to the
Super Bowl in February

1. First, you must learn to pronounce the city name. It's Deh-troit. NOT DEE-troit. If you pronounce it DEE-Troit then we will assume you are from Toledo and here for the country Music hoe-down.

2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Detroit has its own version of traffic rules... Hold on and pray!

3. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 am to 10:00 am. The evening rush
hour is from 3:00 pm to 7:00 pm. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday
morning. Weekends are open game.

4. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. If you're first off the starting line when the light turns green, count to five before going across the intersection. This will avoid getting in the way of cross-traffic who just ran their yellow light to keep from getting shot.

5. Schoenherr can ONLY be properly pronounced by a native of the Detroit
metro area. That goes for Gratiot too.

6. Construction and renovation on I-94, I-96, I-75, I-275, I-375, The Lodge and The Southfield Freeways are a way of life and forever. Just deal with it.

7. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect or they are "out-of-towners"

8. All old men (or women) with white hair wearing a hat have total right-of! -way.

9. The minimum acceptable speed on I-696 and I-275 is 85 regardless of
the posted speeds. Anything less is considered downright SISSY. Oh,
and don't even think of allowing more than one car length between cars!

10. That attractive wrought iron on the windows and doors in Detroit is
NOT ornamental. DO NOT get out of your car to take pictures.

11. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that
says "Keep honking, I'm reloading", he/she is.

12. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60 mph zone, people are not waving because they are so friendly in Detroit. I would suggest you duck.

13. I-275 and I-696 is our daily version of NASCAR.

14. It's not M-10, it's "The Lodge".

15. That's not a lake, it's a pothole.

16. If someone tells you it's on Outer Drive, you better hope you have a map.

17. The Michigan left turn is simple. If you want to turn left, go a 1/4 of a mile past your turn, get to the left, then make a left, then make another left, then make a right when you get back to the intersection wh! ere you wanted to turn left in the first place. NOW you have gone left.

18. And those 2 really ugly arches over Telegraph???? DON'T EVEN ASK!! WE DON'T HAVE A CLUE!!!!!


Posted by Quality Weenie at February 1, 2006 08:28 AM | TrackBack

I was thinkin' of you and _Jon yesterday. Remembering when the Superbowl was in Tampa. Ahhh good times. You're taking time off to stay home and away from the madhouse right??!?!?!?

Be careful! And don't hurt the tourists tooooo badly!! ;-)

Posted by: Tammi at February 1, 2006 08:32 AM

hmmm, interesting. Detroit sounds like a tame version of Chicago. :)

Posted by: Contagion at February 1, 2006 08:50 AM

I don't live or work any where near Detroit, so I don't have to worry about any extra traffic or the such.

I know quite a few people that work in Detroit and they are already complaining about the extra traffic and most will stay home on Friday.

Posted by: Machelle at February 1, 2006 10:03 AM


Sounds like Wash. D.C.!

Go Steelers... Their quarterback is a dog person.

Posted by: Harrison at February 1, 2006 06:17 PM

My first time through Detroit I got rear ended, got lost around Rosa Parks and MLK Blvd., had a flat tire in front of JL Arena and got a damn ticket trying to get through the tunnel to Windsor. Great trip

Posted by: spurs at February 2, 2006 12:00 PM

Spurs - You do know your suppose to stop at the boarder, probably the reason for the ticket ;)

Posted by: Machelle at February 2, 2006 02:10 PM