May 24, 2007

Black Hole

I know I have been absent from my blog lately but it seems I have sunk back into my black hole of dispair.

The job is ok ... I am so overqualified for this job that is unfair to make me come in everyday. I sit most of the day doing absolutely nothing and by nothing I mean staring at an excel spreadsheet just to look busy nothing.

They really could have hired someone with only a few years experience to do this job and a hell of a lot cheaper. But then I don't see the need for the 4 people working on this project either. They could get away with 2 and 3 would be pushing it.

And yes, I know its a job but my job really defines who I am and doing a nothing job has helped push me into the abyess again.

Not to mention that my 40th birthday is only a few days away. Turning 40, that is old in my family. Men never live past 53 and women go crazy by 60 so I've got like what 20 years left if I am lucky.

I have hurt my back and arthritis has attacked my feet so all the weight I lost during my unemployment & exercise daily time I have gained back plus a couple pounds. So further into the black hole I go.

Life seems to be beating me up lately and by lately I mean the past year. I couldn't catch a break even if I were fly paper and a break was the fly.

I am scratching the walls to try and get out of the hole but I think it's going to take a little while longer to claw my way out.

I will try to post more often, at least puppy pictures. Because I know you all miss seeing the puppies.

Posted by Quality Weenie at May 24, 2007 09:57 AM | TrackBack

I so hate hearing this, but understand. I too feel defined by my job. And don't even get me started on the weight thing.

It does get better. And I'm not blowin' smoke up your ass. It really does. But it may come at you from a different direction so keep your eyes peeled.

Meanwhile - we'll just wait here. And you're right, we do miss the puppies - just don't tell anyone I said that. ;-)

Posted by: Tammi at May 24, 2007 10:16 AM

{hugs} Praying it does get better for you soon.

Posted by: oddybobo at May 24, 2007 10:20 AM

I'll vote for more puppy pictures! [You knew I'd say that, right? :>]

I'm turning the big 5-0 this August, so I know how facing a milestone like that can take the fight out of you... But keep punching and clawing!! I will if you will...

Posted by: pam at May 24, 2007 10:44 AM

I'm sorry to hear that everything is hitting you at once. Nothing worse than being stuck in a sucky job, bored to tears but having to stay because sometimes something is better than nothing. And nothing is worse when you're stuck in the middle of it.

Like Tammi said, truly hope things improve shortly for you, one way or another. But in the interim, we're always happy to have puppy pictures and see the latest fashionable stylings of Mr. Lance and Ms. Maggie.

*hugs and warm thoughts your way*

Posted by: Lee Ann at May 24, 2007 12:31 PM


Posted by: vw bug at May 24, 2007 02:45 PM

I'm just past gets better, it really does.

*hugs* for all the other stuff. I've had a job like that where I had to make 'busy work'.

Just think of the puppies...and us folks who would like some more puppy pictures!

Posted by: Mrs. Who at May 26, 2007 08:23 PM

More puppies!! :)

Hope you feel better, QW.
You have my prayers.

Posted by: jimmyb at May 30, 2007 02:16 PM

Dang now. You've had enough hugs and kisses in the previous comments, so I'll skip that. You don't want 'em from me anyway. ;)

I can almost remember when I turned 40. I think there was a party. My job is boring too. Problem is, I made it that way. I got everything to where it'd run "under water" without intervention. Being the "Maytag Man" sucks sometimes, and makes you want to stay home and do laundry instead.

I did not just write that... Are your puppies ever goin' to grow up and become dogs, or are the puppies forever?

Perhaps you just need a little jab in the ribs to piss you off and get the piss and vinegar flowin' again. Football season is comin' up, and I have a hunch the team from up north is gonna put it to us Buckeye's this year... so, you got that goin' for you if nothing else.

Is it summer time in Detroit yet? Do you think the Piston's will beat the Cav's, or are you even payin' attention?

Remember, and I've had to take stock of this myself lately, as bad as it seems, it ain't that bad. It damned sure could always be worse, just hope it doesn't get that way. It works for me. Maybe it will for you too.

PS: If you post more "puppy" pictures, please, let 'em dress theirselves. You dress 'em funny. ;)

Posted by: RedNeck at May 31, 2007 08:30 AM

Hey sweetie,
Though I enjoy your puppies & the fun outfits you put them in, I for one would rather hear/read you were happier, than see pictures. Though I do enjoy those too.

I had a job like the one you're talking about. I was about ready to take a knife to wrists when I thought to myself I should learn or research something I've wanted to learn about before I do.

Doing that literally changed my whole life! In between looking at spreadsheets I began to learn UNIX (programming language). I learned it so well I helped a friend learn it. He learned it so well, he began to write programs for businesses. I moved on to learn HTML, and other programming languages. Eventually, I quit my job and went to work for my friend who had developed a thriving business.

But even more important than all of that, please try and do something like walking for yourself. Even if its just around the parking lot once or twice at lunch time (and believe me, your parking lot is huge) because it will help to naturally release your endorphins which will automatically, after a few days or so, make you **feel** a whole lot better, helping you emerge from that black whole.

Cause if not, so help me I'll take a plane ride to Detroit just to give you some mood altering hugs! Oh and I'm in my mid 40's slowly losing my weight (after my accident and chemotherapy) and I feel feisty and fabulous as ever. But some weeks ago, I was slipping back to that dark place and I started doing my walking again and I started feeling better. Side benefit... I got an anemic cat call from a 60 yr old messenger, that broke out into an emphezemic cough. Hey, it was a cat call non-the-less! I'll take it cough, laughter and all!

Sending you hugs, positive thoughts and lots of cheery prayers. Go ahead.... bark at me if you like. I'd rather you get all riled up and reply pissily than not reply or post at all!

Oh and hey, I'm coming back here every day and will post, long-ass comments until you put up new entries. Even if I have to fill them up with line after line of blah, blah, blah... yadda, yadda, yadda! YOU ARE FORWARNED!

Posted by: michele at May 31, 2007 01:31 PM